No Is A Complete Sentence
Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re essential to your wellbeing.
Are you looking for recommendations for your summer reading list? If so, I have one for you here.
Rachel Rodgers is an attorney turned business coach who recently published a book called We Should All Be Millionaires. Her mission is to teach women and other marginalized groups how to build wealth.
One of the chapters in her book is called Million Dollar Boundaries. In the chapter, Rodgers talks about the importance of boundary-setting when it comes to hitting seven figures.
Before reading her work, boundaries always had a negative connotation for me. I equated setting boundaries to being a bitch. That is, until, I read this:
“Boundaries are not about controlling other people, boundaries are about saying yes to yourself.”
Chances are, if you’re making seven-figure money moves, you’re also a high-performer. You put yourself under a lot of stress in order to excel, but that also makes you more vulnerable to burning out.
If you want to succeed at anything you do, you have to protect your energy - and that protection comes from setting boundaries.
Setting boundaries is especially important if you get to the point where you feel like you’re drowning.
In moments like these you need to create space for yourself in order to recover. Giving yourself this breathing room allows you to think more clearly and act more purposefully, which is crucial for overcoming burnout.
You can think of boundaries like an owner’s manual: they give instructions on what you want to do in a given situation, not what you want others to do.
Boundaries mean nothing unless they are enforced.
What do you need? How do you want to feel? What will it take for you to get there? Answering questions like these will help you determine what boundaries you should set.
The hard part is putting these boundaries into place. When it’s time for the rubber to meet the road, you need to follow through.
This takes practice. It’s a muscle you learn to flex little by little, and your training could start with a simple “no”.
(That’s another line I love from the book: “No is a complete sentence.”)
Saying “no” may initially be hard, but the alternative - breaking your own boundaries and saying “yes” - is even worse. Cue the resentment and burnout.
Over time the people around you will not only come to expect your boundaries, they’ll respect them as well. That is, of course, if you’re willing to respect them yourself.
The only thing worse than not having boundaries is having boundaries that you don’t keep.
As you go through your week, think of places where you could set boundaries. Will you not respond to texts right away? Will you move your home office from the kitchen table to a guest bedroom? Will you end a toxic relationship?
I’ll give you some space to think about it.
